No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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