Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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