Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
