We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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