I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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