Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
