Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
