Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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