oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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