we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
