Only a mothe r could love this liver
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize