Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
