yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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