My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
