Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
