distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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