The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just blew my weed a kiss
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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