Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
