you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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