Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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