I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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