dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
