I love black thongs
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There are leaves in my underwear?
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