just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He shit in the fireplace
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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