Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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