Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
