Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
organizing the empties. That sober.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
