Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize