remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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