So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
