I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Randomize