I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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