Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize