He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
