I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
