You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
