ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
