I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
