The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
