Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're like the curious george of whores
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
