chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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