sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Less talking, more tequila
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
