Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize