but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
