Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I believe in your delicious
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
