So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
