I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
