so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i think my cat just said my name.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
