ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
