I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
